Week36 - Friday

 I woke up very late around 11 am and kids went to my sister-in-laws home and my wife stayed with me and in the afternoon i ate food and lazing around with tv and movie after 4 i worked for few minutes to check mail and thankfully the sonarqube rules was removed and it helped me to commit and create the review.I will continue work on this on monday to update the code and create new review.

          The back pain still there and my wife gave medicine .yesterday i watched a tomcruise movie as a car racer.I am updating this daily updates for review this week and have to plan the next week ,Though planning and sticking to plan is painful process.It is my line of work and how i am going to sustain for atleast another five years is a grand question and also on the other hand every trade have its up and down.

What is the trade i am really passionate about is a million dollor question ? I have to plan for saturday and sunday also ,my mind cannot be free if it so it is not productive and helpful.I need to find a good way to spend the weekends.Today also i may sleep late since i slept in the afternoon for more than two hours.

I may want to want andrew huberman youtube video tomorrow and call couple of peoples and check for cycle repair ,I can plan for short cycle trip in and around my residence.

Week 36 - Wednesday and Thursday

Pro 

              I waked up at 8 am and started fixing the code and its a fresh morning ,i found the cause of the issue after i made lot of change in the sonarqube refactoring ,I missed the meeting and it leaves me incomplete. 

                  I understand this is the hardpart of fixing the code and refactoring the code .It drags me into long hours of working .It is an oppurtunity in development when most people dont get it and at the same time it is stressful ,causing pain in the back due to sitting posture and other factors.When amitabha suggested to change the code and the opportunity of sonar qube rules it was hesitating since i have done more work in completing the task and then after working on an issue it was not working i decided to use the backdoor and focus on only the changes .Its an costly mistake that i entirely ran the sonarqube in the entire file with the existing tool.Anyway this backdoor helped me to accomplish my commitment to complete the initial draft. After check in i have to fix many cycles of sonarcube fixes.

   I have not slept in the afternoon and slept by 11pm in the night and due to back pain i waked up by 2 pm and started fixing the sonarcube issue.Since I got a fair idea on how to fix it it was interesting and fixed the easier ones.Again slept by 4 am and woken by wife having  my naina and chitthi arriving for inviting to the wedding. Woke up and had a good time discussing and conversation.They left having breakfast .I started working again on the checkin process and again fxing the more complicated issue and thankfully the sonarqube rules have been disable so it went well .In the back of mind there is a commitment to go to a wedding just for outing and taking the kids out and for the sake of eating biriyani .My wife gave me homeo medicine .The pain reduced in the evening and slept a good sleep .

 

Week 36 -Tuesday

Finance 

  I have filed the income tax for this finacial year.He provided the service ,Dinesh and Bino provided the contact and he will be useful in the coming years I guess. Paid 2000rs and still i need to pay further

Pro

 I spend most of the time in debugging and took some time to understand the failure and I need to continue work on tomorrow .Today is not a focussed and productive day ,will continue tommorrow.

Relationship

  We ordered Pizza and kids enjoyed it and it is better to order i guess which is less expensive than we our self making one.

Health 

 I need to resolve this should blade pain issue.It is occurring on and off based on my exertion and work hours i spend.I need to work without attachment.

Sleep 

Need to sleep early so that i can perform well in the work 

Week 36 - Monday

 

Monday

Pro

 Worked on fixing the sonarQube issue and worked based on 3 focussed session.

I have made the smart tv as desktop environment which facilitated and improved the body posture and performance and further the code was broke due to the changes and refactoring .I fixed those and it is working and I have to verify the changes and apply logger and stuff.

I slept well in the afternoon which improved my third session to focus.

Relationship

Has a minor disagreement with wife and i was reminding myself that i will not be winning the argument ,

Then i understood her point of view and let go setting the priority.

I spent some time with kids and taught for few minutes,I am thinking to spend an hour everyday on teaching.

Planning

 This week onward i am surrendering to the routine and planned my weekly work and will stick to that .I appreciate myself on starting this journal again.I want to revisit this on the next week and include what is missing

Health 

Meditated for few minutes.

My back muscle pain reduced after the weekend rest.

Sleep 

 I slept well in the afternoon for two hours due to yesterdays tiredness.

  I have some acidity due to podi and oil though i ate and its impact and i got an irritated state and anger for known reason and was unable to fall sleep.Then watched movie to relax myself and then slept at 2am.

I woke up at 9:45am.Hoever i planned for 7 am and its not working out.

 

Journal of the Little mind -3

                 Its Sundays,
                      Its a busy day actually.Letting my kid to drop in the dance school and picking her up.
                     Buying fish ,cleaning them and then frying them.Listening to the kids giving all the 
                     attention they needed.In the afternoon ,after they slept felt to work on the setting up 
                     the tv to computer.Worked on that which gave me some relaxation and fun at the 
                     end  it still need to be worked on but its fine ,I had some path laid for the consecutive  work.We went to church int the evening and night was so short slept my 12:30 eventhough i havent slept at the afternoon .

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)

                         Waking up and attending to the childrens need when i am so tired.
                            

• How you felt, both physically and emotionally

                        Exhausted and irritated

• How you acted in response 

                I tried to calm myself and explained how exhausted we as parents

• What you did to make yourself feel better  
•  Went to church and did some meditation in the afternoon for five  minutes

Journal of little mind-2

   The thoughts of the past is still part of my thought process but i gradually reducing.I am trying to not create the stories but still i have not forgotten those things.Its was surrendering to the body and seeking the longing for intimacy which my partner obliged.In the morning i took a long reading session with newspaper and after that mediated a while ,remembering how to handle the everyday event and seeking the guidance of almighty if he exists.I went to office in the noon ,i have to start early atleast .The thing that comes to my mind is I have to do an yoga in the morning after sending kids to the school.Then its a lazy work schedule but i worked .
I have to take integrity in life in all parts above my own identity.Appreciating and respecting my words will free from heavy burdens of me.
 In the afternoon ,I was listening to the successful people in youtube and tedx talk that gave me some perspective in life.Night came though ,I am thankful to the goodness for giving this wonderful kids,with them I am so much purposeful.

Journal of little mind-1

                 Today is almost start of the day,now its midnight ,I am not getting sleep and i thought better to put that in words to free my mind,

     My mind is stressed out to the subconscious level,I am getting dreams of  family issues which is quite overwhelming ,and i am just recovering day by day .
                   My face is like haunted ,lifeless and somebody sucked my very being.I am caught in the survival turmoil ,this world is thoroughly lying or thats what it occurring to me[the occurring world is unreal that is the lesson i learned from a pro gramme,is that everything i perceive is unreal ,the way i think about myself and the way others thinks about myself,perceived by a small piece of the brain which interprets the very existence of this world based on its own loaded experience it has .]
So the mind is tired to go to office and its lost all its passion it once lived.Yes it needs a constant excitement for other spiritual source.Now i lost that contact and i miss that energy emotionally.
What is missing in my life ?
 Energy ,Peace of mind ,Fulfillment within my own self
Where I am heading to ?
  boredom in mind and in other words feeling purposeless  .
What should i do to avert ?
 Create new structure .Meet new people of the same frequency
Freeing myself from three portals of hell .Lust ,Greed and anger.
There is no goal to achieve?
 Cycling and meditation is the next thing in my to do list ,to repair and reboot my mind .Good to go.. Will try to post everyday.