Week 36 - Monday

 

Monday

Pro

 Worked on fixing the sonarQube issue and worked based on 3 focussed session.

I have made the smart tv as desktop environment which facilitated and improved the body posture and performance and further the code was broke due to the changes and refactoring .I fixed those and it is working and I have to verify the changes and apply logger and stuff.

I slept well in the afternoon which improved my third session to focus.

Relationship

Has a minor disagreement with wife and i was reminding myself that i will not be winning the argument ,

Then i understood her point of view and let go setting the priority.

I spent some time with kids and taught for few minutes,I am thinking to spend an hour everyday on teaching.

Planning

 This week onward i am surrendering to the routine and planned my weekly work and will stick to that .I appreciate myself on starting this journal again.I want to revisit this on the next week and include what is missing

Health 

Meditated for few minutes.

My back muscle pain reduced after the weekend rest.

Sleep 

 I slept well in the afternoon for two hours due to yesterdays tiredness.

  I have some acidity due to podi and oil though i ate and its impact and i got an irritated state and anger for known reason and was unable to fall sleep.Then watched movie to relax myself and then slept at 2am.

I woke up at 9:45am.Hoever i planned for 7 am and its not working out.

 

Journal of the Little mind -3

                 Its Sundays,
                      Its a busy day actually.Letting my kid to drop in the dance school and picking her up.
                     Buying fish ,cleaning them and then frying them.Listening to the kids giving all the 
                     attention they needed.In the afternoon ,after they slept felt to work on the setting up 
                     the tv to computer.Worked on that which gave me some relaxation and fun at the 
                     end  it still need to be worked on but its fine ,I had some path laid for the consecutive  work.We went to church int the evening and night was so short slept my 12:30 eventhough i havent slept at the afternoon .

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)

                         Waking up and attending to the childrens need when i am so tired.
                            

• How you felt, both physically and emotionally

                        Exhausted and irritated

• How you acted in response 

                I tried to calm myself and explained how exhausted we as parents

• What you did to make yourself feel better  
•  Went to church and did some meditation in the afternoon for five  minutes

Journal of little mind-2

   The thoughts of the past is still part of my thought process but i gradually reducing.I am trying to not create the stories but still i have not forgotten those things.Its was surrendering to the body and seeking the longing for intimacy which my partner obliged.In the morning i took a long reading session with newspaper and after that mediated a while ,remembering how to handle the everyday event and seeking the guidance of almighty if he exists.I went to office in the noon ,i have to start early atleast .The thing that comes to my mind is I have to do an yoga in the morning after sending kids to the school.Then its a lazy work schedule but i worked .
I have to take integrity in life in all parts above my own identity.Appreciating and respecting my words will free from heavy burdens of me.
 In the afternoon ,I was listening to the successful people in youtube and tedx talk that gave me some perspective in life.Night came though ,I am thankful to the goodness for giving this wonderful kids,with them I am so much purposeful.

Journal of little mind-1

                 Today is almost start of the day,now its midnight ,I am not getting sleep and i thought better to put that in words to free my mind,

     My mind is stressed out to the subconscious level,I am getting dreams of  family issues which is quite overwhelming ,and i am just recovering day by day .
                   My face is like haunted ,lifeless and somebody sucked my very being.I am caught in the survival turmoil ,this world is thoroughly lying or thats what it occurring to me[the occurring world is unreal that is the lesson i learned from a pro gramme,is that everything i perceive is unreal ,the way i think about myself and the way others thinks about myself,perceived by a small piece of the brain which interprets the very existence of this world based on its own loaded experience it has .]
So the mind is tired to go to office and its lost all its passion it once lived.Yes it needs a constant excitement for other spiritual source.Now i lost that contact and i miss that energy emotionally.
What is missing in my life ?
 Energy ,Peace of mind ,Fulfillment within my own self
Where I am heading to ?
  boredom in mind and in other words feeling purposeless  .
What should i do to avert ?
 Create new structure .Meet new people of the same frequency
Freeing myself from three portals of hell .Lust ,Greed and anger.
There is no goal to achieve?
 Cycling and meditation is the next thing in my to do list ,to repair and reboot my mind .Good to go.. Will try to post everyday.

Day of incomplete work

 I took leave for Friday after much hesitation.
It was not one of the day I planned .
I have to plan and execute to finish the task i took.I should have the intention to finish.Free from the fear and outcome.I don't have the watchfulness to make a completion of task. I am kind of incomplete.

I take it personally on  others comment on professional side.I started late and then I have not checked the mail.
          I am spending too much time for others ,I have to learn to make them do rather than doing myself for them.Everything should be in the level of word and if necessary  to work.
    I learned the importance of timing to finish the task .A minute miss eats the two hours work.Though I was precaution it was little unfortunate to miss what I intended the db installation I was talking about  .
           More over I went with collegue to play TT and it was not that enjoyable and I was not in my cool self when i play.Better to play not with the incomplete tasks in hand whoever shall call me I shall say no.

What is my working hours
11 am
1.30 pm
2 hr in the morning
2:00 to 4.30
2 hr in the afternoon

evening
6 to 7
1 hr
the total hr is 5 hr approximately is not at all with the integrity to work.
I will make it  eff 7 hour a day
morning
9- 11
tea
11.30 - 1.30
lunch
2.00 - 4
tea
4.15 - 5.00
yoga
6 - 6.30 -- status update .This part you are giving less importance but this is what makes the day .Communicate your accomplishment and what you need to accomplish.
8 hr intentional work.
Nothing is impossible.
Rule No TT in between office hours.If you do if you have to compensate the minutes after 6.
Finish the tasks and go to talk and never work for them. Empower them.
I went to yoga which was abs and SN today.I had  cramps in abs but it was fine in the later part of yoga.
What tommorrow ?
I am going early tomorrow,around 8.00 will be the time.I have to wake up at 7.00 for that.
10.30 DB installation. To read the threads ,swing threads and core java again.A clear understanding is what needed rather than in the context of to answer when the script runs.
Will leave by 3.40 pm
Deliverables
Analysis document on the active alarm browser some gui snapshots and the design classes.before 3 pm.
INM server installed.It should be before lunch.
Dont worry about time you work .Think about the output from you.Everyday deliverable will make much if it is consistant

A new day

To wake up at 9.30 pm it was hard at .Blame it on the late night sleep.
I went to office hurriedly around 11 am a coconut  bun ,a boiled egg and a tea for a breakfast ,filled the stomach fully that i am not hungry for the lunch and again bread omelet and a water melon juice in the afternoon.
I have worked focused and finished the task given by the pompous guy. I am kind of not telling openly everything to all people as i did in few months .Added a lot of security measures within me.Its cools.Before I was compelled to do so but bot anymore .
 Yoga was stretchable too.With abdomen stretches and the Surya Namaskar. It was relaxing at the end.
The TT game was awesome.Still room to work on it but I am satisfied the way i played myself when there was a low look on me nothing wrong in it. Tough players wants to play tough.I was tough today .It was great.
I went to the doctor and told him that i am seeing  a lot of improvement .He provides good listening as his professional calls to it.
I was very hungy and ate tangiri kabab and fried rice for the supper in hotel.The kabab i liked it and it was juicy.
Talked with my wife,a real hearty talk.She is taking everything to grow the two childrens simultaneously.
I never imagined it will be this hard.I will take responsibility when she comes here,let me see ways to free her.

After Long time

Today I really played well in the TT game.Improving and focusing on the mental stamina of the game and concentrated on the rally and avoided hitting shots.
Professionally I was learning the hard way.I am thinking though the hard work is being put due to my
openness and panicky behavior i showed in the past in the name of integrity have not payed well.The role of truth is still debatable.I am telling circumstantial lies as well which is for survival,
My brothers joblessness is always running in a corner of my mind.Lets hope the dawn comes.
Nowadays I am getting better at cooking day by day.Also at life I try not to react and yield not to fear  whatever the circumstance,
I miss my kids and wife who live in a distance of 150 Km.I am planning to take a leave this Friday .

What did i learned today
Mental Stamina ..Not yeilding easily and also allowing myself to the flow rather than resisting.
what next ?
To add the kids name .
To put  my 100%