Week 38

Monday 

               I went to my home since internet was not working here.I worked on mobile network connection and the BSNL connection was down due to physical disconnection in our area .amma took care of me in the sense of food .She is always ready to serve me with tea ,food even i dont prefer :)  and i have to stop her from over care.I was annoyed and unhappy in the properted related split in my home.I understand her point of giving material wealth to all of them equally but she is creating a mess out of it and it is not going to help in the long run between us brother and sister.If provided an opportunity I will  totally forgo the property to my brother and sister and move on .There is an insecurity and the reality speak  for kids future.May be i am naive .After work I came to mariya home to visit the doctor ,general physician prasad.We waited for two after returning home and he provided calcium tablets and pain killers and aked me to do excercise without straining in his words like music.Mariya is relieved after hearing this since she was worried about heart related problem .I am worried about spine related disposition due to work postures.In his words it is a localised problem that will go away after sometime and i think i need to consult an ortho person .I have two reasons for pain .One the occupational impact of working from home and posture and other is the difference in my left and right leg and the impact of that leading me to spine  being adjusted to one side causing stress in  the nerve that connect sometime  i feel numbness in the left thumb as well.I ordered roshini for her birthday and she is groing mentally and physically well.

Work 

   I tried importing the exported database from which is not working for my local environment and explained to my lead and talked out of using production server and to use simulator.Due to mobile network connectivity issue the evening meeting i attended was intermittent and i stayed on the line.We raised the simulator issue and it worked with the team providing the simulator VM

Tuesday

             Morning i have recharged Jio SIM due to network issue happening her and to work in mariyas homeIt is costing few bucks but it is neccassary expense i have to pay to work here.I have successfully imported the 100 nodes setup and it provided some relief in the testing the code and i need to calculate the time of waiting for CM access to justify the slowness and the limit of performance tuning.I see its a long duration work and i dont want to stress myself for immediate result.I slept in the afternoon for couple of hours which i have not planned and after walkingi worked for couple of hours and went to St.Antony's chapel praying or health.This spot is where i will see the last day vehicle which carries the coffin and i will feel the impermanence of life .I watched amazon prime movie of Angelina Jolie movie based of forest fire setting.Slept late around 1 pm.

Wednesday 

       Waked up early in the morning due to light back pain and i used it for good ,had strong coffee in the shop and i went to the municipal ground and i watched the nomadic people living their life in a wrteched veranda of government building.Their choice of life to live as a community ? is their really their chosen life ? They have to fight for the survival and have very low quality of  environment to sustain them and live.I haven't compared myself to them if i do my life will be as wretched as them as a community ;) and we have the spacious physical boundary but everyone want to be in tribe.Ha ..

     I came home and todays my daughter birthday ,after some resistance mariya agreed to do biriyani of 3kg.I purchased the ingredients and expense for it .It came good and went and given to my home.DSM call ,I am assertive for my lead says and working on my goal .I have tested for 75 NE only for netconf.I need to fix and try for Tl1 NEs.I havent slept in the aftenoon and it causes irriation and tired at the end of the day but gave  deep sleep in the night.In the evening the birthday celebration went very well  with purchased cakes.I have sent mail in the work front and more testing effort to be done .my manager called me and discussed and given feedback on us dev mgr comment.Ultimately everyone is a cog wheel in the big frame of clock mechanism of organization. We have to rotate from our end that is paramount.I called shanmu and asked me to pick up and he said some reasons and it occurred to me as the avoidance strategy not sure ,may be true as well.I asked from him on the borrowed money from me and he said he will give me 10k .My wife and myself discussed on the jewel loan interest and its settlement.It is not possible to pay all the  amount by today and i have to query the bank and the course of action will be different based on that.I went and picked up sister-in-law husband having in mind doing things like nothing is free and one of the problem is peoples are takers and will not reciprocate it.May be it will help that we dont expect and simply do state of mind.

   Health wise i was wandering in the sunlight that is the source of the vitamin D and a key for the calcium absorption and more and more realizing how the sunlight is a major ,major source of life .Not only plants ,we as animals and humans are closely connected and dependency on it .If we are disconnected we are leading an unhealthy life and away from it is  a lifestyle of bad choice.  I am spending more time in the outside today and i will continue to do for the rest of my life.

Thursday 

   My uncomfortable pain is my wake up alarm ;) today and woke up by 6.15 pm .It was a frustrating day totally .The simulator was bombed due to another teammate usage which he did unknowingly.I  tried to create the json file for simulator input and it got error .I was impatient and the shoulder string muscle pain was increasing for sitting erect position and evening asked for help but not worked out.

Evening went to shamnu rice godown and  it was long talking.When i saw the sky i rememebered and told myself the insignificance of the work we do and it calmed me .I came to my home and slept well in the night after not sleeping in the afternoon .I took calcium tablet and mariya is in home.my are

Friday 

  I waked up early today also do to slight pain and after that went to Sivas home and took a long walk around my area.I dont want to go the path where the conflicts will be created in brain and go in the path of peacefulness.A productive day ,I was glad the simulator came up and i am able to work and The I took interview for a guy and he seems to be a average looking guy but he answered the question on project .This gives me a fresh perspective on the interview process and how the interviewer wants .

In the evening it was not working and frustrated ,I get frustrated when things dont work my way thats true for all cases.What I will do i silently swallow and let go.My kid was happy with gift.I am thinking to go to mariyas home.I went to mariyas home and slept well ,now a days stopping the afternoon sleep is giving me deep sleep in the night ,in a way that is good.

Saturday

  I waked up at 5.30 in the morning and i picked up amma and went to chellankuppam to complete the groundnut process and activity and it is not completed .I planned and apsired to complete by sunday.

Though  i took leave and  i worked in there and the mind keep in thinking about the work and the things to do next and instead of thinking too much ,I started working and it helped me in learning and restored the old data which i have did.My onsite manager is asking unexpected viewpoints .I decided if i send mail i have to keep the data so that the further question should be answered.I fixed the python script which was to give the large response in a single file .Only when we go document ion and its understanding with example it helps rather than read all the articles and picking on like a hen doesn't help. It was a productive day and there is a constant disturbance from the surrounding.I slept in the verandah and it was raining in the night and spoiling the next day process of picking the groundnut.

My pain was still there and i worked lyingly and to the field i went and came back and i dont want work hard and my body also not fit for doing physical work.I had a beer in the evening and in the kalam of kedar.I was just wanted to unwind the strenuous work.

Sunday 

          I decided not to work and it was a day of relaxation and retrospection .I went to vetavalam since raja

              

 

Week 37

      Monday 

         It is interesting to know that a week starts from Monday and i thought Sunday is the start of the day,I waked up by 9:15 am and i did some stretching ,walking for 20 minutes.I ate before the daily scrum call.I drank good amount of water by sipping.In the DSM i did not resisted the conversation but allowed him to contribute to me .He helped in the git process otherwise it would have created some stress for me.

I then worked on the comments and created the review as my plan and in between i slept for an hour.

It charged me well and i worked an hour more and we as family  went to tailor shop by walking.The kids are growing and i can see them they are moving to teen years .Karthi asked me to share on yesterdays breakthrough and i shared halfheartedly and there is an interupt.Living a life of possibility is all more important otherwise its an ordinary life choice of going through stress and frustrtaion.

        I watched Dr.Andrew huberman podcast in youtube and took notes .He is suggesting to take protein diets in the early day or morning.I should inculcate that in my food habit.I need to sleep and work tomorrow having a fixed work hours of focus.

Tuesday 

   I have waked up around 8 , i fall alseep may be around 1:30 pm lastnight.

After  that  mariya and myself did some gardening work ,I added the azosprillum and nitrobacterium to the soil and added the compost waste which was mostly coconut shells which takes longer time to decompose.We prepared a two big rectangle basket for planting it is ready now.It is fulfilling work and also warms up and stretches the body.It is one work we both like to work ,my wife is now a days talking about a buying a plot in chennai and looking forward for a place to plant and live.I am fully occupied in bandwidth with money.

 Work 

    I started working on the review comments .After that amitabha helped on setting the different git repos and taught on switching between repos.He is supporting me good .His intention is as leading and he is not willing to work on code.My intention is reverse and learn the module and move after an year is my plan and i need to make this as concrete action plan.Tomorrow i will make sure to deliver the code changes.I need to calculate on the timings as well.I will do the tl1conversion in the next iteration with physical span work .I want to  complete in this sprint.

I slept an hour in the afternoon so i will be up until 12 i guess.Let me check. 

Wednesday 

  Work 

     I woke up early for the meeting at 7 am .It was frustrating when the network was connected and the internet connection was very slow and not connected.I tried for more than 35 minutes and then iit got clicked that i can connect in phone bridge and then it left me with peace otherwise i would have regretting that i was not able to attend the meeting .In the meeting he was asking to have a code review meeting to discuss with the team and I was busy working on fixing the code changes and scheduled a meeting on the next day morning as I said to them.All work and no play makes me a dull jack.I am not happy in any place and i am not happy within myself at work  as well though i seeked it and got it.May be i want instant work completion and moving on to next thing.In the company town hall meeting the company performed well in business and they asked to work in hybrid mode from the month end and they are mandating the vaccination for all .

Relationship

      The presence of my kids and family makes me connected and the value of being a family on your own gives a purpose for living life may be biological circuitry of raising kids gives some trigger of fulfillment from nature.

  The shoulder pain was lingering and my wife gave her homeopathic medicine.Tommorrow have to plan for hometown trip .

 Health 

   Its not in normal condition ,definitely i have to increase my nutrition supplements and do mend my body.

Thursday  

   In the morning 8 am we had a code review meeting and in the meeting the expectation of improving the performance was great and i explained the current design and the code design and the changes .They gave their understanding and queries. I mailed back on the meeting moments as I said in the meeting.I started worked on the performance tuning to reduce the timing in the code and I worked on code changes.Zili was okay to wait and not to push the code until there is a performance improvement and he did not want to break the existing functionality and was okay with that if thats what is needed and there is a conflict of working with him and local lead.

Relationship

   My brother in law came by 3:30pm and as planned we have to start to tindivanam for my cousin brother marriage and it was formal and very few people from family circle was only invited and the bride and bridegroom were happy and she looked beautiful too.I wished them and the underlying pain in the shoulder did not allow me to fully there .We came to hometown and BIL only drived which was thankful in my present condition.He came for a different purpose to hometown.He dropped me in my home with my mom and mariya and kids went to their home.I drowsed in the car for few minutes that helped me in restore some energy.I have met shanmu in the evening and he picked me up and we had a conversation of friends.

Sleep

I slept late after watchin movie in the mobile and woke up late around 8 in the morning.

Friday

                   In the morning i went to Sivas house and met him ,the pain was still lingering and i was adjusting .to it .In the way met the area people while walking and normal and formal conversation of well being.I started working on restoring the setup and performance tuning.It was unsuccesful i was doing the remote copy and paste and trying to run the script.I felt that i should have a proper communicated exit to the former work colleagues though i was alienated there.Afternnon food was tasty as my mother cooked.She is taking care of me in food and stuff and but i feel she is intruding and disturbing my otherwise normal life.She is going through everything alone with herself and i feel disconnected with her strangely in the being.I need some transformation in this area.Though i can understand her and i feel that she is partial to me and may be she believes i can handle life myself better and i am well off  in material earning so she focussing on  my brother and sister wealth creation.I came to mariya home in the evening.

Saturday 

Work      

I was taking rest in mariyas home.I dont remember doing anything productive.Oh well ,I went to my native village on the groundnut to check on the groundnut cultivation it is totally left to nature and can clearly see it was not taken care.The expense of labor is more and hopefully it is not giving any loss.I had some expense on visit and meeting the realtives which my mother wated to meet and  I am spending a small percentage here and not want to go for a loss atleast.The pain was there and still i drived and feared some spine wear and tear and ligament connected from should blade and spine.

I taught roshini some programming in the evening.

I talked about this to Vimal ,mariyas cousin brother and he studied physio therapist and he asked me take an xray and to check.He asked me to do some physical movement to understand the nature of internal injury.

Sunday  

       I was lazing around with family ,mostly youtube videos ,I was thinking about what i can do on next week but havent planned and wrote down in diary.I had a wonderful sleep in the afternoon and in the evening went to movie alone .I took a budge ticket and saw kodiyil orivan ,an entertainment movie ,contrary to public opinion i liked the movie in theater.I was wearing mask and i feel corana is non existent in people mind .I took xray in the meantime and ES hospital and paid 500 for that .

 

 

        

 

 

 

 

Week 36 - Saturday and Sunday

No work today but mentally  I was thinking about how i can respond to review comment and understand parallel processing threads.

                I read the bible quotes ,as a Man Jesus is so remarkable leader and a great healer.He is transcended human nature and he inspire me today.I was praying for the power he gave to heal other people.I believe in energy form and we are fleeting oscillating vibration on a finite time and  merge on the same medium of non existence .Divya asked to participate in a qualifying introduction and i participated and it took some time to introspect on my work and karthi provided his time .Nothingnness to be created everyday and the default context of human ,my means of survival institct is life is dangerous.Its the work on lizard brain i guess.We automatically go into survival of our system.

  Mariya and myself went to purchase for tailot shop and harware store .I spent on myself for grooming and i was providing the barber some work since he seems out of work and i also needed some haircut to be done.After i attended the introduction .

To summarize this week it is a productive week but with lot of hardwork and i need to learn the smart and selfexpressive.

Sunday 

   I woke up by 8am and watched Mr&Mrs Rowdy .I loved the movie in a scenic authentic setting.

I was hungry and made coffee and drank .Gardening ,composting and vermi-composting become the breather and relaxer.Mariya made some chicken curry and rasam ,ate the chicken for protein source and was watching Vijay TV programs and napped in the evening.We went to pick up the kids from my sister-in-law home and i was prepared  to drill the bucket and while we return we took some clay from roadside and some cow manure.It seems an essential item though we do composting for soil.I planned the next week meticulously and installed the office apps and i should never mess my mobile phone for any other reason ,it spoils my schedule someway unknowingly.The day went well and i slept good in the night.

 

Week36 - Friday

 I woke up very late around 11 am and kids went to my sister-in-laws home and my wife stayed with me and in the afternoon i ate food and lazing around with tv and movie after 4 i worked for few minutes to check mail and thankfully the sonarqube rules was removed and it helped me to commit and create the review.I will continue work on this on monday to update the code and create new review.

          The back pain still there and my wife gave medicine .yesterday i watched a tomcruise movie as a car racer.I am updating this daily updates for review this week and have to plan the next week ,Though planning and sticking to plan is painful process.It is my line of work and how i am going to sustain for atleast another five years is a grand question and also on the other hand every trade have its up and down.

What is the trade i am really passionate about is a million dollor question ? I have to plan for saturday and sunday also ,my mind cannot be free if it so it is not productive and helpful.I need to find a good way to spend the weekends.Today also i may sleep late since i slept in the afternoon for more than two hours.

I may want to want andrew huberman youtube video tomorrow and call couple of peoples and check for cycle repair ,I can plan for short cycle trip in and around my residence.

Week 36 - Wednesday and Thursday

Pro 

              I waked up at 8 am and started fixing the code and its a fresh morning ,i found the cause of the issue after i made lot of change in the sonarqube refactoring ,I missed the meeting and it leaves me incomplete. 

                  I understand this is the hardpart of fixing the code and refactoring the code .It drags me into long hours of working .It is an oppurtunity in development when most people dont get it and at the same time it is stressful ,causing pain in the back due to sitting posture and other factors.When amitabha suggested to change the code and the opportunity of sonar qube rules it was hesitating since i have done more work in completing the task and then after working on an issue it was not working i decided to use the backdoor and focus on only the changes .Its an costly mistake that i entirely ran the sonarqube in the entire file with the existing tool.Anyway this backdoor helped me to accomplish my commitment to complete the initial draft. After check in i have to fix many cycles of sonarcube fixes.

   I have not slept in the afternoon and slept by 11pm in the night and due to back pain i waked up by 2 pm and started fixing the sonarcube issue.Since I got a fair idea on how to fix it it was interesting and fixed the easier ones.Again slept by 4 am and woken by wife having  my naina and chitthi arriving for inviting to the wedding. Woke up and had a good time discussing and conversation.They left having breakfast .I started working again on the checkin process and again fxing the more complicated issue and thankfully the sonarqube rules have been disable so it went well .In the back of mind there is a commitment to go to a wedding just for outing and taking the kids out and for the sake of eating biriyani .My wife gave me homeo medicine .The pain reduced in the evening and slept a good sleep .

 

Week 36 -Tuesday

Finance 

  I have filed the income tax for this finacial year.He provided the service ,Dinesh and Bino provided the contact and he will be useful in the coming years I guess. Paid 2000rs and still i need to pay further

Pro

 I spend most of the time in debugging and took some time to understand the failure and I need to continue work on tomorrow .Today is not a focussed and productive day ,will continue tommorrow.

Relationship

  We ordered Pizza and kids enjoyed it and it is better to order i guess which is less expensive than we our self making one.

Health 

 I need to resolve this should blade pain issue.It is occurring on and off based on my exertion and work hours i spend.I need to work without attachment.

Sleep 

Need to sleep early so that i can perform well in the work 

Week 36 - Monday

 

Monday

Pro

 Worked on fixing the sonarQube issue and worked based on 3 focussed session.

I have made the smart tv as desktop environment which facilitated and improved the body posture and performance and further the code was broke due to the changes and refactoring .I fixed those and it is working and I have to verify the changes and apply logger and stuff.

I slept well in the afternoon which improved my third session to focus.

Relationship

Has a minor disagreement with wife and i was reminding myself that i will not be winning the argument ,

Then i understood her point of view and let go setting the priority.

I spent some time with kids and taught for few minutes,I am thinking to spend an hour everyday on teaching.

Planning

 This week onward i am surrendering to the routine and planned my weekly work and will stick to that .I appreciate myself on starting this journal again.I want to revisit this on the next week and include what is missing

Health 

Meditated for few minutes.

My back muscle pain reduced after the weekend rest.

Sleep 

 I slept well in the afternoon for two hours due to yesterdays tiredness.

  I have some acidity due to podi and oil though i ate and its impact and i got an irritated state and anger for known reason and was unable to fall sleep.Then watched movie to relax myself and then slept at 2am.

I woke up at 9:45am.Hoever i planned for 7 am and its not working out.