Week 38

Monday 

               I went to my home since internet was not working here.I worked on mobile network connection and the BSNL connection was down due to physical disconnection in our area .amma took care of me in the sense of food .She is always ready to serve me with tea ,food even i dont prefer :)  and i have to stop her from over care.I was annoyed and unhappy in the properted related split in my home.I understand her point of giving material wealth to all of them equally but she is creating a mess out of it and it is not going to help in the long run between us brother and sister.If provided an opportunity I will  totally forgo the property to my brother and sister and move on .There is an insecurity and the reality speak  for kids future.May be i am naive .After work I came to mariya home to visit the doctor ,general physician prasad.We waited for two after returning home and he provided calcium tablets and pain killers and aked me to do excercise without straining in his words like music.Mariya is relieved after hearing this since she was worried about heart related problem .I am worried about spine related disposition due to work postures.In his words it is a localised problem that will go away after sometime and i think i need to consult an ortho person .I have two reasons for pain .One the occupational impact of working from home and posture and other is the difference in my left and right leg and the impact of that leading me to spine  being adjusted to one side causing stress in  the nerve that connect sometime  i feel numbness in the left thumb as well.I ordered roshini for her birthday and she is groing mentally and physically well.

Work 

   I tried importing the exported database from which is not working for my local environment and explained to my lead and talked out of using production server and to use simulator.Due to mobile network connectivity issue the evening meeting i attended was intermittent and i stayed on the line.We raised the simulator issue and it worked with the team providing the simulator VM

Tuesday

             Morning i have recharged Jio SIM due to network issue happening her and to work in mariyas homeIt is costing few bucks but it is neccassary expense i have to pay to work here.I have successfully imported the 100 nodes setup and it provided some relief in the testing the code and i need to calculate the time of waiting for CM access to justify the slowness and the limit of performance tuning.I see its a long duration work and i dont want to stress myself for immediate result.I slept in the afternoon for couple of hours which i have not planned and after walkingi worked for couple of hours and went to St.Antony's chapel praying or health.This spot is where i will see the last day vehicle which carries the coffin and i will feel the impermanence of life .I watched amazon prime movie of Angelina Jolie movie based of forest fire setting.Slept late around 1 pm.

Wednesday 

       Waked up early in the morning due to light back pain and i used it for good ,had strong coffee in the shop and i went to the municipal ground and i watched the nomadic people living their life in a wrteched veranda of government building.Their choice of life to live as a community ? is their really their chosen life ? They have to fight for the survival and have very low quality of  environment to sustain them and live.I haven't compared myself to them if i do my life will be as wretched as them as a community ;) and we have the spacious physical boundary but everyone want to be in tribe.Ha ..

     I came home and todays my daughter birthday ,after some resistance mariya agreed to do biriyani of 3kg.I purchased the ingredients and expense for it .It came good and went and given to my home.DSM call ,I am assertive for my lead says and working on my goal .I have tested for 75 NE only for netconf.I need to fix and try for Tl1 NEs.I havent slept in the aftenoon and it causes irriation and tired at the end of the day but gave  deep sleep in the night.In the evening the birthday celebration went very well  with purchased cakes.I have sent mail in the work front and more testing effort to be done .my manager called me and discussed and given feedback on us dev mgr comment.Ultimately everyone is a cog wheel in the big frame of clock mechanism of organization. We have to rotate from our end that is paramount.I called shanmu and asked me to pick up and he said some reasons and it occurred to me as the avoidance strategy not sure ,may be true as well.I asked from him on the borrowed money from me and he said he will give me 10k .My wife and myself discussed on the jewel loan interest and its settlement.It is not possible to pay all the  amount by today and i have to query the bank and the course of action will be different based on that.I went and picked up sister-in-law husband having in mind doing things like nothing is free and one of the problem is peoples are takers and will not reciprocate it.May be it will help that we dont expect and simply do state of mind.

   Health wise i was wandering in the sunlight that is the source of the vitamin D and a key for the calcium absorption and more and more realizing how the sunlight is a major ,major source of life .Not only plants ,we as animals and humans are closely connected and dependency on it .If we are disconnected we are leading an unhealthy life and away from it is  a lifestyle of bad choice.  I am spending more time in the outside today and i will continue to do for the rest of my life.

Thursday 

   My uncomfortable pain is my wake up alarm ;) today and woke up by 6.15 pm .It was a frustrating day totally .The simulator was bombed due to another teammate usage which he did unknowingly.I  tried to create the json file for simulator input and it got error .I was impatient and the shoulder string muscle pain was increasing for sitting erect position and evening asked for help but not worked out.

Evening went to shamnu rice godown and  it was long talking.When i saw the sky i rememebered and told myself the insignificance of the work we do and it calmed me .I came to my home and slept well in the night after not sleeping in the afternoon .I took calcium tablet and mariya is in home.my are

Friday 

  I waked up early today also do to slight pain and after that went to Sivas home and took a long walk around my area.I dont want to go the path where the conflicts will be created in brain and go in the path of peacefulness.A productive day ,I was glad the simulator came up and i am able to work and The I took interview for a guy and he seems to be a average looking guy but he answered the question on project .This gives me a fresh perspective on the interview process and how the interviewer wants .

In the evening it was not working and frustrated ,I get frustrated when things dont work my way thats true for all cases.What I will do i silently swallow and let go.My kid was happy with gift.I am thinking to go to mariyas home.I went to mariyas home and slept well ,now a days stopping the afternoon sleep is giving me deep sleep in the night ,in a way that is good.

Saturday

  I waked up at 5.30 in the morning and i picked up amma and went to chellankuppam to complete the groundnut process and activity and it is not completed .I planned and apsired to complete by sunday.

Though  i took leave and  i worked in there and the mind keep in thinking about the work and the things to do next and instead of thinking too much ,I started working and it helped me in learning and restored the old data which i have did.My onsite manager is asking unexpected viewpoints .I decided if i send mail i have to keep the data so that the further question should be answered.I fixed the python script which was to give the large response in a single file .Only when we go document ion and its understanding with example it helps rather than read all the articles and picking on like a hen doesn't help. It was a productive day and there is a constant disturbance from the surrounding.I slept in the verandah and it was raining in the night and spoiling the next day process of picking the groundnut.

My pain was still there and i worked lyingly and to the field i went and came back and i dont want work hard and my body also not fit for doing physical work.I had a beer in the evening and in the kalam of kedar.I was just wanted to unwind the strenuous work.

Sunday 

          I decided not to work and it was a day of relaxation and retrospection .I went to vetavalam since raja